I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
