I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
