I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
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