You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Randomize
