Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
