I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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