I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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