She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Randomize
