im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
