Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
