i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
