ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
