this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
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