I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
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