dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
