i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Randomize
