if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
