I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Randomize
