I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I came so hard my ears popped.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
