all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I'm sobbing to NWA
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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