Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
