there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
