Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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