I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Randomize
