I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
