I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
