im having a threesome with these popsicles
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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