dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Randomize
