I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
