Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Randomize
