Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Randomize