Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
