Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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