I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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