I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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