She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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