i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
