Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
