meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
