Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
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