I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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