So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
