There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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