His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Randomize
