those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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