i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Randomize
