Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
as a side note pls kill me
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
