sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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