Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? ๐๐
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know heโll give me.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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