Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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