I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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