White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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