so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize
