Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
