I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
