i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Randomize