Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
3pm strippers are depressing
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Randomize
