She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Randomize
