You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I touched a dick in church today
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
