I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
