Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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